Flip the perspective

We all know that everyone sees the world through their experiences and secondary insights of others. Unless something is experienced first hand by you, the frame of reference is from someone else. Okay. So let's review this frame of reference.

When rival nations fight, the conqueror tells the story. And that side of the story, albeit since they won, will show them in the best possible, honorable light. Yet, the loser feels they were honorable as well and their story will differ. 

As a leader, one of the challenges you will face is not getting sucked into the first person who presents their story to you as the winner. You will have to patiently wait until you hear all sides before any judgments are passed. And even then, you are only capturing a snapshot in time, that is shaped by the person experiencing it, at that moment in time.

It allows all perspectives to be valued and valid while also being aware that once the moment has passed, it truly has changed for the ones experiencing it, as well. If someone is angry, an experience means one thing. Once they are no longer angry, it will mean something else. As a leader, your job is to show empathy for what they feel is real and also to understand that seeing through other's eyes will change the experience since the intent will be different from each person. 

The next time you are frustrated, remember, you don't know what is in the head of your opponent. We all bring baggage to every encounter and the goal is not to let this encounter be shaped or experienced based on a past encounter but let it be based on the actual moment, in the actual time with the actual person, you are experiencing it with.